a note to God

Jesus, I want to be with You. Working for church is maybe the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I feel like I’m failing all the time, like I’m not good enough or welcoming enough. Like I goof up every conversation and overstep my boundaries. For every step forward, I feel like I’m taking three gigantic ones backwards. God, how in the world am I supposed to keep doing this? 

But I confess this to You because I know it’s not all about me. If You can use me in the slightest way, please use me to Your pleasure. I know You are good above all things. And like Lisa and I talked about this morning, we need to look for where You’re moving, and – by the power of Your Spirit living inside of us – join in Your kingdom work.

Help me to reflect Your perfect love. 

I know that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

Help me to look for You. Help me to celebrate who You are and what You’re doing. All else is meaningless. 

I long for what Eugene Peterson wrote in Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places: “from deep in our lungs – our lives! – we sing and play to the glory of God.”

For Your glory, God, be all things forever & ever.